anger

i am angry. i am hurt. i’ve been betrayed. many of you know these feelings, this pain, this sin. it’s justified, it’s righteous. it’s deserving.
and yet…
it’s hurtful. it’s all-consuming. it robs us of sleep, peace, kindness, gentleness, faith, self-control, love. it takes over our lives, it consumes our thoughts, it clouds our judgement, it is sin. nothing more, nothing less. it allows satan to have his way in our life, our mind, the situation. it gives freedom to the enemy. i am tired. there is nothing i want more than to forgive and let it go…

and yet…

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” {Ephesians 4:25}

what do i do now?

biblically speaking, i must confront the lying, the stealing, the falsehood and speak truth to this person. but this person has already made it clear that to do so would end up hurting others that i love.

“in your anger, do not sin…” {Psalm 4:4}

i cannot go to the person, i cannot go to the ones that are being hurt, i am standing at the crossroads and am waiting to choose the right path.

“In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.” {Psalm 4:4-5}

so i am silent,

trusting in the Lord.

i trust Him to do what i cannot. i need to let go. this needs to be forgiven.

and yet…

“He who has been stealing must steal no longer…” {Ephesians 4:28}

how do i pray. where do i begin. what is right when everything feels wrong.

today i prayed for the ones dealing with anger, hurt, betrayal. today i prayed that You would fill our hearts with forgiveness, our minds with peace, our day with love. today i pray for joy to abound, relationship to flourish, that You bring us back to Your loving arms. today i prayed that You would forgive me my anger, my hurting, my sin and lift me up, back to You. do not turn Your face from me, Lord.

i also pray that You would defend Your name, Lord! that the ones who are calling themselves Yours will turn back to You not just in words, but in deed as well. i pray for Your righteousness, Your justification, Your will to be done in these situations that arise in our lives and consume us.

Arise, O Lord!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.
From the Lord comes deliverance.
May Your blessing be on Your people.
Psalm 3:7-8

i pray that i can find a place of acceptance, knowing that Your ways are higher than mine and your love is deeper than mine, and Your knowledge is greater than min and Your wisdom is unfathomable. i pray that i would be able to accept Your ways, Your answer, Your forgiveness, Your love.

today, i pray that the Lord would restore you to fellowship with Him…

and today, i ask that you would pray for me too.