guilt

This past weekend, guilt was my best friend. we snuggled up together & gathered my thoughts & figured out the amazing ways that i could feel poorly about every decision that i made. we talked about things that i might say, things, i did say, things i might do, things i might not, we decided that there was guilt to be had in everything. guilt made sure that i knew he was my ONLY friend & reassured me that others would not be close or ever want to be.
Guilt is a very selfish friend.

Allowing this friend into my life makes me miserable, but more importantly, he makes everyone else miserable, chases everyone away, causes arguments, alienates family and friends, and a host of other self-destructive issues that come along with his friendship.

Sometimes i wonder if guilt is a better friend because i allow him more access than the God that i love so much. Guilt makes sure that i know how little we deserve a relationship with the God who created us. Guilt makes sure to keep me alone so that others don’t try to pull me out of his closeness. Guilt makes sure that the only friends that are allowed in are self-loathing, hate, pity, and regret.

Like little minions, they surround the mind. Taunting. Laughing. Reveling in the brokenness of it all.

The only solution, the only way to fight this battle, is to turn to the One. Take the help that He offers. Take up the armour that He offers freely and FIGHT. Actively speak the words of life. Demand that guilt return to the pit from which he arose and take back the battlefield. Quit making guilt comfortable and demand that he leave the property. He will keep trying to return, so this battle will take a lifetime. But the One who battles with you and for you will never lose strength, never lose heart, never lose faith, never lose hope. He is the One who comes to break the chains that bind your mind and tear down the walls of steel and brick to free you from hate, sin, regret and give you hope & life more abundantly.

Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.
Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. ~Hebrews 12:12-15

Today i pray for those whose minds are riddled with guilt, who are plagued by regret, & those that cannot break free on their own. i pray that God would free their minds and release their burdens and give them life and light in the battle. i pray they would have the strength to put on the whole armor and to speak the words out loud in their own lives and in the lives of others.


anxious

Monday, i woke up
stressed…
panicked…
anxious…
bad dreams had abruptly awoken me at 3am. trying to forget them, the next 3 hours were an attempted failure of sleep.
tossing…
turning…
worry covering the whole brain
like a fog.
it seemed the day would be shot before feet ever met floor that day.
what was the point of even getting up?
i trust God. i believe God. i walk in His truth. i walk in His love.
but the fog would not be shaken.
He beckoned me, as He had at 3am. “Come sit. Converse with Me. I AM the One who can help clear the fog.”
i finally relented, but there was not much time before the day would demand attention. even a short moment. spend time with the One.
One who cares. One who loves.
One who can break thru the loud screaming of defeat.
10330319_454732417995678_1954751774042352048_n
a
friend
sent
this
quote
there is truth within.

i was feeling depressed about things that have happened.

i was concentrating & worrying & stressing about things that have not yet happened. things that might never happen.
anxious about the future.
forgetting everything that God has helped us come thru.

forgetting all the miracles. the blessings. the past. the present.

TRUTH: living in the present. at peace. satisfied. not worrying. confident.

Philippians 4:6NLT
“Don’t worry about anything. Instead, pray about EVERYTHING. Tell God what you need & THANK HIM for ALL He’s done!”
Talk to Him.
Build your relationship with Him.
The stronger the relationship, the easier it is to entrust, be thankful, worry less about the things that have not yet come to be.

Psalm 37 NLT

Don’t worry about the wicked or envy those who do wrong.

For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither.

Trust in the Lord & do good.

Then you will live safely in the land & prosper.

Take delight in the Lord & He will give you your hearts desires.

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him & He will help you.

He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn & the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Be still in the presence of the Lord & wait patiently for Him to act.

Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

Stop being angry! Turn from your rage!

Do not lose your temper – it only leads to harm.

For the wicked will be destroyed

but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land…

Today i prayed for those…


secure

Psalm 22:9-10

Yet You brought me safely from my mother’s womb
and led me to trust You at my mother’s breast.
I was thrust into Your arms at my birth.
You have been my God from the moment I was born.

This verse. This morning. I wonder…

NLT: “Led me to trust You” & “Thrust into Your arms”. 
NIV: “Made me trust You” & “Cast on You”
NASB: “Made me trust” & “Upon You I was cast”
HCSB: “Making me secure” & “Given over to You”
KJV: “Make me hope” & “Cast upon Thee”

Those words. Trust. Secure. Hope. Do you feel them? There is action and life and love that can only be gotten from being cast upon, given over to, thrust into the arms of the One. Only One. He will lead you. He will cause trust, security, hope, in your life. But only if you cast your life upon Him.

Today i pray for those who are struggling to let go and trust. those who do not feel secure. those who cannot find hope. today i pray that the One who has brought us forth will lead them to a place of desire and show His lovingkindness in abundance.


return

To those who have walked away
To those who thought they had a better plan
To those who are happy in their sin
To those who chose not to believe
to those…

God is still there
God is still waiting
God is still calling
God has not changed
God has forgiven

He died for you
He bled for you
He came back for you

He loves
He waits
He longs
for your return

today i pray for those

STOP

STOP

the day between

the day of contemplation

the day to look

on the past & reconcile

with

WHAT

JUST

HAPPENED

the day of realization

my sin put my God

on a cross

He died

in order that

we could be together

we could have life

we could

L I V E

do not throw it away

d o  n o t  p u t  i t  o n  a  s h e l f

do not hide this gift

share it

as we share it

it grows

it is living

it is breathing

from a living breathing God

He loved us first

F I R S T

while we were lost

while we were sinning

so we could

L O V E

more fully

more abundantly

more gracefully

GO


Psalm 20

A prayer for my friends and family and all those afar. i don’t think that there are any words that could be added to David’s, so the text will speak for my prayer today…

psalm20

amen…


monday

It is a sad week here in our small town. 2 awesome young men, fathers, mentors, husbands, friends, were taken from this earth to their heavenly homes on Sunday, April 6. Their families grieve for the loss. Their friends weep. Their children’s hearts shattered. Their loss impacts many here and around the world.

So many losses in this past month. Senseless death. Heartbreak. Sorrow. So many communities grieving. The only one who can console is our loving heavenly Father. Only He can relate. Only He can heal. Only He can help us continue without these who have influenced, encouraged, loved, and etched their memories into our hearts. Only He can make us whole again. And yet, we will never be completely whole until we are joined together in heaven again.

Today i pray for the families, the communities, the ones who are lost and wandering. i pray for comfort, for friends, for healing, for peace. the marks that they carved into our souls will be ever present, the lives they have left will not be forgotten, but the mourning will last for a time. i pray that there are moments of joy in their grief and comfort thru their tears. there are no words that could ever make it ok, but i pray for love, peace, and comfort to surround each one and that they would find their rest in the One who knows the beginning from the end and the heartache of loss.

In loving memory of Pastor Tyler Liljekvist and Coach Chris Prewitt, who both wore more hats than can be listed and both affected lives around the world. May God keep their families and strengthen them thru the fire and on the journey ahead.


John Wesley Reid

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